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Love Girls Magazine - Because Every Girl Has A Story


Is Your Relationship Normal?

Lexxie Hall

"Normal" Relationship Behaviors That Aren't Actually Normal

As teenagers, we justify many hazardous behaviors we experience in our relationships. We believe that if we are not being physically harmed, then we are not faced with abuse. This however is not accurate as financial abuse, emotional/verbal abuse, digital abuse, and stalking also threaten teenagers every day.

For instance, when your significant other tells you you're not allowed to wear that dress to dinner, it isn't cute. They aren't protecting you. They are displaying manipulative and controlling behavior, often because they are insecure with their role in your relationship. While texting each other frequently and expressing your love often can be endearing, being reprimanded for not responding after a few minutes and arguing because of your absence on social media isn't. It's an irrational cause of conflict and again, shows the warning signs of a manipulative relationship. You are allowed to have privacy, you are allowed to have to space, and you are most definitely allowed to have time in which you can disconnect from your cell phone.

In today's society, relationships are made public online. This means that not only are the peaks of your relationship available for the world to see, but your struggles and altercations as well. Obviously your relationship will hit speed bumps every once in a while and that is perfectly understandable. In fact I would be concerned if speed bumps DIDN'T happen; however, these issues are something to be kept offline and reserved for the privacy of you and your partner. It is not acceptable to be criticized or exposed by your significant other on any social media platform such as Twitter or Snapchat.

Fortunately some of these situations can be resolved. An effective solution could be to make of list of your personal expectations within your relationship and ask your partner to do the same, that way you are both on the same page regarding your privacy and communication with each other. This opens the door for compromise and peaceful resolutions. Having this conversation, while possibly awkward, could be very beneficial in resolving future problems! It's crucial to make sure that your requests and the agreements you both made are respected.

Ultimately, you have to follow your instinct when it comes to deciding your boundaries and the level of privacy you would like to maintain when committing to a relationship. If you sense an unhealthy behavior occurring, talk about it! No matter how "normal" society says the behavior is, if you aren't comfortable with the reoccurring behavior, express it!