By: Brianna Haney

In February 2021, my father was shot and killed by the Bettendorf police. He was in a situation with his girlfriend, and it had gotten very out of hand. The police confronted him at a local park in his car. They talked for a bit until my dad pulled out a handgun and tried to shoot at the police. That's when the police fired shots and killed my father, Now, it's not just the police's fault. It took me some time to actually realize that and understand that it had been my dad who had also caused what happened. The day I found out, I was heartbroken. My dad had just died, and I didn't even get to say goodbye to him.

My dad and I didn't have the best relationship throughout my life. He was very in and out in my life and would constantly leave me sad and disappointed. I would think,

"Is it something I did?"

"What did I do wrong?"

"Does he not love me anymore?"

I now know that it was never me. It had to do with my dad and what he was doing or going through. When I was 11, I was the one to cut off our relationship. I stopped talking to him. I didn't care about what he had to say or what he was doing, I didn't care about anything that had to do with my dad. At points I missed my dad and my brother BJ. but I knew that if Itried to talk with my dad would feel the same way i did before sad and disappointed. I had support from my family and friends who cared about me and cared about what I was doing. During the time I cut off my dad, found out I had 2 sisters, and 3 brothers. It's exciting to find out you have new siblings, but when I let that sink in, I realized that my dad had hurt and left other women just like he did my mom.

Now, let's get into Love Girls Magazine. They've given me opportunities I never thought I'd be able to have. I joined a podcast at the age of 12 and I've been doing it for 2 and a half years now. Last year, my co-host Dalaysia Dixon and I got to speak with Sergeant Harris from the Davenport Police Department. In that episode we talked about the Black Lives Matter Movement, and the stigma surrounding Black people and police. I talked about my father. Before we recorded. I contemplated whether I wanted to talk about it or not. That's when I thought "There are girls and boys who are going through the same thing or something similar to what I'm going through. They need to know that they aren't alone, and that they are loved." So, I opened up about it. That was the first time I had openly talked about what happened with my father (except when I had to fell my friends and other family). It was definitely uncomfortable, but I was able to push through. A lot of people heard my story.

Fast forward to the Love Awards in April 2022, I received the Brave Award, and my award was presented to me by Officer Harris. I was very emotional but happy. l was proud of myself and how far I have come. Love Girls Magazine has been interviewed by Iowa Public Radio, and "The Pulse" a podcast produced by the City of Davenport. Even though my father is gone, it doesn't mean I don't have people who love and care about me. I have a lot of support from Love Giris Magazine and my friends and family. My story is a big part of me and I'm so glad I got to share it with people who are going through similar struggles as me. We need to end gun violence and end the stigma about Black girls who grow up without their fathers. They can still be successful. For kids growing up without their father, I'm sorry. We don't deserve this at our ages, and it's not fair. For the giris and boys who are struggling - you are not alone.